Life, as we know it, is a constant state of flux. The world around us evolves in ways we can scarcely imagine, with advancements, societal shifts, and cultural revolutions shaping the very fabric of society. Yet, paradoxically, we often find ourselves oblivious to these changes, cocooned within the confines of our own lives. In this fast-paced world, it is all too easy to become so abdsorbed in our personal narratives that we overlook the broader context of change happening around us. We keep moving along, day by day, until suddenly we find oursleves inextricably woven into the evolving tapestry.
One of the primary reasons we struggle to notice changes happening is our attachment to routine. We are creatures of habit, performing daily rituals and following well established patterns that provide us with a sense of comfort, stability, even safety. We go about our lives most often on autopilot, rarely stopping to see what’s happening around us for longer than a moment or two. We also, more recently, have found a greater interest in personal growth and self-improvement, all in the name of becoming better and happier, if not more fulfilled people. But in so doing, we’re distracted once again from the change around us. We become so engrossed in our quest for self-actualization that we neglect to notice bigger events, whether they’re local or global, and therefore societal progress.
We also exhibit a remarkable capacity for selective perception. This bias leads us to filter out information that doesn’t align with our personal notions, beliefs, concerns, or desires. When we’re absorbed in our personal pursuits, we tend to ignore or downplay external events that don’t directly affect us. This tunnel vision can blind us to the gradual shifts that are taking place around us. And it is greatly amplified by the recent creation/invention/discovery of social media, the rise of which has only vastly contributed to our insular view of the world. They’re like echo chambers where like-minded individuals reinforce each others’s beliefs and perspectives, truths be damned.
But let’s be honest, change by its very nature, is slow moving and almost impossible to see in the short term. We expect or hope for monumental shifts to be dramatic and overt, like we see in the movies, but many transformative processes occur incrementally. They’re more often than not, so subtle as they reshape the landscape of our lives they go unnoticed.
I remember hearing the story about the frog in boiling water. Terrible yes, but a lesson to be learned is there within it. The idea is that if you put a frog into boiling water it will of course jump out to save itself. However, if you put a frog in room temperature water and slowly increase the heat, bringing it to a slow boil, it will remain oblivious to the rising temperature before it is too late. More and more recently I feel as though we, North America, are in that slow boiling pot of water.
Over time immemorial, cultural and societal shifts have been taking place. Attitudes, norms, and values evolve over time in response to broader social and political forces. I always believed humanity, society, communities, would get better over time. Isn’t that what most stories tell us? That with evolution, constant learning, growing, we’d only get better because we’d learn from our mistakes. So why doesn’t it seem like that’s what is happening? It honestly feels more and more, each day, like we’re getting worse, making bigger mistakes, and causing more harm. Have we learned nothing? Or is it that our big fragile egos keep getting in the way…
While of course, it is natural to become absorbed in our personal lives, it’s also crucial to cultivate awareness of what’s happening around us. We’ve seemingly coined and given such heavy weight to the following words and terms, but do we actually know what they mean….
Mindfulness - a state of awareness, staying attuned to the present moments and the world beyond our immediate concerns. I feel as though individuals have no issue being mindful of how they themselves feeling and being impacted, but what about others? The road must travel both ways in order to function properly, n’est-ce pas?
Mental Health - is so bloody important, isn’t it? Of course it is! If one isn’t feeling mentally well, how can they function? But isn’t it important, again, that it be a two-way street? To me, mental health involves how I feel navigating a situation, or the world, but also finding a suitable and satisfying way to adjust to that situation and the demands of the world. This involves me working on MY perspective, MY expectations, and adjusting them so I can function healthily. It seems to me, we’ve turned it all inside out and upside down, and are claiming it is up to society and the rest of the world to acquiesce to our needs in order to navigate the world in a suitable and satisfying way. How can that be? And how did we get here?
Woke - I thought was a nice and simple way of saying someone was/is in tune to the needs of others - aware of the injustices and “isms” that affected them. And that to be woke meant you were mindful of not only your actions for your own sake, but for the sake of others. But then we somehow turned it into “wokes against the unwoke” and we created these ridiculous notions of cancelling, shaming, or calling out those we deemed “not woke enough”. How is that productive? How is it helpful? Yes, a bit of shame is important. It’s a tool to learn from. But shaming to the point of ridicule, or worse (one losing ones career, relationships, or life)? How is that helping anyone? Isn’t it just a new form of bullying?
I guess it’s safe to say that I am very disappointed at the state of affairs currenlty in North America. I’ve been ’woke’ for some time, and also self-aware and mindful. It’s a continued practice and I am nowhere near perfect (in fact I don’t think perfect exists). But as I stand back and reflect on how I affect the world, I also see others. I’m astonished at how many people I interact with a day that are seemingly selfish, only concerned with their own level of comfort and their own wants and needs. I’ve seen stranger pitted against stranger. I’ve seen friends fight over things with no room for discussion. I’ve seen families torn apart. And I think we can all agree that any sense of community that ever existed, even if it was fragile, barely real, or conditional - has been completely erased from our culture. We don’t even take care of our own family members anymore.
Where did our morals and values go? We fight and say we are a great people. Others from all walks of life, all over the world, want to come to our land and create a new and better life for themselves, their families. But how are we able to hold our heads high and claim how great and friendly we are, when the truth is, we’re really not. We are falling apart, ripping at the seems, in my opinion. And I’m at a loss. I’m not certain what the answers are, for there is definitely more than one. And my hope is waning. I mean it. Really. I open my heart and my mind to the universe - I open my heart and mind to people I meet - I strive to create the good I want to see in the world, and am most often met with a deafening silence.
What do you hear?
Ⓒ September 2023. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
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