A lot of people believe the world really sucks right now. And perhaps they’re right. Perhaps it’s true. But despite what we may believe (and be right about), does that mean it was better in the past? It’s easy to look back and romanticize, become nostalgic for what might now seem or feel like a better time. But during that time, did we really feel it was better? Likely no. Because we, as humans, are very good at creating a perpetual reality, or belief wherein life is hard. And perhaps we’re right. Perhaps it’s true. Both can be true at the same time. But how do we navigate it without losing our minds?
We can wake every day and subscribe to the belief that everything sucks. But the reality is that there are moments when we find ourselves standing at a crossroads, torn between two worlds - one of cages and another of wings, one of fear and another of love. Every day, we wake up and make that choice, often without realizing the gravity of the decision. Each choice we make becomes a brushstroke on the canvas of our soul, and it shapes the way we experience life itself.
The Cage We Build
Cages come in many forms. They are not always made of iron or locked by key, but are often crafted by our fears, insecurities, and doubts. They are the shade of glasses we choose in which to see the world. They are the invisible walls we construct to keep ourselves safe from hurt and disappointment. Within these cages, there is a predictability - a certain comfort in knowing the limits of our surroundings. There is safety in the routine and protection in never venturing beyond what is familiar.
But, oh, how stifling those walls become. How the air grows heavy, and how our dreams - once so bright and alive - begin to fade. The heart that beats behind those walls grows quieter, softer, until the spark that once drove it to dance flickers into something unrecognizable.
Wings and the Unknown
And then there are wings, or rose-coloured glasses. Wings require trust - a belief in something unseen and unknown. With wings, we lift off, unsteady at first, unsure of our ability to soar. We are vulnerable to the wind, the rain, and the uncharted skies. But, more importantly, we are open to the beauty and wonder that we could never experience from within our cages.
To fly is to embrace freedom, to step into a world where each moment holds the potential for magic. Wings are not given to us because we are guaranteed a perfect journey, but because they allow us the chance to discover heights we could never have imagined. When we live with wings, we are free to love, to create, and to connect on a level that is impossible when confined by fear.
Fear or Love: the Eternal Battle
Choosing to live with wings is ultimately choosing love over fear. Love is boundless; it exists without conditions or limits. Fear, however, whispers of inadequacy, reminding us of every failure, every mistake, every possible wrong turn. It chains us to memories we wish we could forget, to past pains that have long overstayed their welcome.
But to love despite the risks - to open our hearts to the unknown, to trust in something larger than ourselves - that is the essence of a life fully lived. It is not the absence of fear, but the courage to act in spite of it.
The Courage to Choose
Every day, in ways both big and small, we make the choice. We decide whether to retreat into cages or to stretch our wings and rise. To live in fear or in love is a choice that defines us. It is the heartbeat of our existence.
So, let us choose wings, even if they are heavy. Let us choose love, even when fear begs us to turn away. Because when we do, we step into a world of limitless potential - a world where we are no longer just existing but are truly alive.
The Crux of Real Love
In choosing wings, choosing love - we should also be choosing ourselves. We are choosing to honor the person we were meant to be, beyond the confines of others’ expectations, beyond the weight of past disappointments. When we choose love, we’re making a promise to ourselves: that we are worthy of the life we desire, that we deserve to feel alive and fulfilled, not simply because of what we achieve or what others think of us, but because we are enough as we are.
Choosing ourselves is not selfish, as we women are often raised and socialized to believe; it is essential. Too often, we are taught that our value lies in sacrifice, in selflessness, in putting others first, until the best parts of who we are become secondary. But how can we pour from an empty cup? How can we offer light to the world if we have let our own flame go out? To love truly, fully, and deeply, we must first learn to love ourselves - our scars, our dreams, our imperfections.
By choosing ourselves, we are saying yes to authenticity. We are peeling away layers of fear and doubt, shedding the voices that have told us we are not enough. Choosing ourselves means accepting the parts of us that we have kept hidden, letting go of the masks we wear to please others, and embracing the essence of who we truly are. This act of self-acceptance empowers us to step forward with confidence and grace. When we love ourselves, we are no longer driven by the need to fit into molds or to seek validation from the outside. Instead, we find a sense of belonging within, a groundedness that allows us to walk through life with purpose.
The Ripple Effect
Choosing ourselves does not isolate us from others; rather, it strengthens our ability to connect. When we live authentically, we attract people who see us for who we truly are, who resonate with our essence and share in our dreams. We become capable of offering a deeper kind of love - one that is not rooted in need or expectation, but in the pure joy of being present with another.
Moreover, by choosing ourselves, we become a beacon for others to do the same. We show others that they, too, can step out of the cages and discover their wings. We give permission for those around us to explore their own potential, to embrace their unique journeys. This is the gift of choosing love over fear; it is not only transformative for us but becomes a ripple that touches everyone we encounter.
As mentioned above, when we choose wings, we are choosing a life of freedom and authenticity. When we choose love, we are opening our hearts to the richness of life. And when we choose ourselves, we are honoring the quiet truth that we, too, are worthy of that love and freedom.
So, let us stand at the crossroads each day and remember: this is not just a choice between fear and love, between cages and wings. This is a choice to believe in ourselves, to claim our worth, and to live fully, deeply, and unapologetically as the people we were meant to be. Because when we choose ourselves, we are choosing a life where we don’t merely survive - we soar.
Now, if I could only put my own advice and feelings into action…
Ⓒ October 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
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