Generation Gaps

It’s mid-July, and I’ve had close to ten employees, most of them hired specifically for the summer, quit on me. Now, to be fair, a few left because better opportunities presented themselves for their future endeavors and a couple of others left due to medical reasons, but still… ten!

A lot of people, including some of my co-workers, are stating that the reason this has happened (and will continue to) is because they believe this younger generation is full of spoiled and entitled children. But I don’t think it’s that simple. Nor do I think it fair to paint or generalize an entire generation. I mean, let’s be honest, each generation seems to have less faith in the next, feeling it necessary to point out their downfalls and shortcomings. But I think it’s more complicated than that.

First off, let’s keep in mind that the industry I work in, restaurants, often hold a revolving door. Not many are fortunate to host long-term employees. It tends to be a transient career choice, and that makes sense. The pay isn’t great. The hours, sporadic and unreliable. You’re often required to work when everyone else is in their free time. And very few restaurants offer any benefits. These are some of the reasons why it can be perfect for students, and people who are still trying to figure out what they want to do or who they want to be. But it certainly doesn’t invite people to sign on and stay long term. In fact, many have argued over the years that the industry needs to change in a big way - fairer wages, the abolition of tipping, etc. But the politics of restaurant work is for another day.

Secondly, the pandemic altered the working force a great deal. Some people argue that it’s led to the demise of many in that “people just don’t want to work anymore”, but I don’t believe that. Not for a second. Humans like to feel valued and useful. And most know that there is no value in sitting at home (or wherever) doing nothing. Of course, I’m sure there are outliers, but again, let’s not over generalize. We all know that deep down, we appreciate earning our own money so we can support ourselves and afford to buy or do the things we like. We take pride in it, and I don’t think the pandemic has changed that. What I think has changed however, is what people are willing to put up with in order to make money. A lot of the minimum wage jobs that previous generations tolerated have had issues for a long time. Similarly to what is written above, most offer terrible hours (whether the shifts are too long or too short), really crappy pay that a person cannot live on, no benefits, no security, and too often, a boss that isn’t very kind because they’re just as frustrated (if not more). But before the pandemic, it was very difficult to call in sick. Oftentimes, a sick note was required, forcing one to go to a clinic and wait for hours, just for a stupid little note. Now, if you have a slight cough, it’s understood that you cannot come into work. Even having a slight headache or nausea is enough to call in and say “I cannot work today”. Whereas back in the day, you pushed through. The only time I remember actually staying home from work is if I was physically ill with disgusting things spewing from an orifice or two. Pre-pandemic, if your time off request was denied, you were just shit out of luck and had to forego your plans. Nowadays, if you don’t get your request granted, you simply quit. But I don’t think people all of a sudden “don’t want to work”. I think people considered the above conditions and finally said “No, I deserve better,” and who can blame them. Especially when you consider my next point.

Third, the economy and world has changed. Life is getting more and more expensive in North America - whether it’s real estate, food, and other necessities, you know, the essentials. And five to ten years ago, I would have agreed with the people who stated that perhaps the younger generation doesn’t need to get their nails done every three to six weeks, or buy their coffee every morning, or get their first car by 18. Five to ten years ago, I did see the younger generation splurging on such things. But now, I can say without a doubt that very few of my team are doing such things. And though a cafe with great coffee, the majority of our clientele are not the younger generation. Most are older, professional, seemingly wealthy individuals and families. So how does this expensive cost of living play into matters? Well, due to the rising cost of life, children are staying at home longer than ever before. Parents are kindly offering continued shelter (at a lower cost, if not free) while their children build their lives and their savings, in hopes to give them a leg up. In hopes that they will fare better when entering the workforce, and other endeavors such as real estate. Some believe this is a part of the “spoiling” of them - and I’m sure there are situations wherein that is the case, but I think as a whole, parents simply want to be able to help their children so they don’t live under massive debt for the majority of their lives. Now, because they are living at home longer, some grow comfortable, perhaps too comfortable, and so don’t feel the urgency the previous generations did about their work. Many don’t seem to be in a rush to get out on their own and so, feel they can be picky about their jobs. I remember, for the longest time, having started working outside of the home at 14, that I always felt lucky to have a job. I was grateful that I’d been chosen to work where I worked and therefore returned that gratitude by being a good employee and working my ass off. And I have to admit, that seems to be missing right now. I don’t get that sense from some of my team. Oftentimes, it feels as though they feel the opposite, as though I’m the lucky one to have them. And that’s not a completely terrible thing, but it does change the dynamics quite a bit, doesn’t it? And perhaps, due to the fact that so many still live at home, and therefore don’t have the urgency of bills to pay, the sense of responsibility is lacking also. But I want to speak further to that…

Fourth, I often find myself asking - why should they feel a sense of responsibility when you think of how they’ve been raised. Of course, many would immediately turn that into speaking about the parents, and I’ve heard it all. Today’s parents have spoiled their children rotten. They were the worst of the helicopter and snow plough parenting that these kids don’t know the real world in any shape, way, or form. And perhaps there is some truth to that. In fact, I know there is. However, it isn’t just the parents that raised this generation. We all did. As teachers, coaches, aunts, uncles, grandparents, leaders, etc. We all played our role in it, and I honestly don’t think it fair that we simply blame one aspect and wash our hands of it. The government has played its role too, and who votes the government in? We do! One point I always like to bring up is the education system. Our education system has been failing children for a long time, and it’s only worsened in recent years. I won’t get into all the details and my opinions, but I think most can agree on that statement to a certain degree. But one of the big ticket items in this topic is how children are unable to fail. Even if they don’t hand in work, complete assignments, or if they actually fail an exam, they are still passed on to the next grade. One could argue it’s because the parents would fight the teachers, disallowing their child(ren)to fail. But in the end, who makes that decision? It’s not the parent. Nor is it the teacher. I bet it’s not even the principal. And what about this idea that everyone should get a trophy for just participating? I mean, I don’t think it’s terrible to thank every person for their efforts and congratulate them on trying, but the idea of making each child feel as though they deserve something just for being there, that has likely caused issues. Perhaps it even contributed to the change from ‘grateful to have a job’ to ‘you should be grateful I work here’. Somehow, somewhere, it was understood as ordained that a child should never feel left out or be made to feel badly as it would be detrimental to their mental, psychological, and emotional health - and we all, as a society, ate it up and asked for more. So, can we really blame this new generation for behaving as they do? Are they entitled pricks? No. They are the product of their environment. And we all contribute to that.

To be honest, I see a lot of great things too.

I see a lot of capacity for empathy, more than previous generations to be sure.

I see a lot of willingness to learn and the desire to do well, improve, and succeed.

I see a lot of kindness, and patience for people with other abilities, needs, identities, etc.

I see a lot more self-awareness than my generation certainly had, and in my experience, the ones previous to mine were even worse.

I see a lot of creativity in their efforts and ideas to figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how to navigate this crazy world.

I see a lot of courage, for standing up for themselves and others who want or need it.

So many seem to see only the shortcomings, or struggles - but I think that might be because they’re only looking at them through their own lens. Take those lenses off for a second, and really look at them. There is a lot of good there. A lot. I can see it, and I have faith that they’re all inherently good people. And isn’t that what truly matters? When we get down to the very bare basics of life, even as a parent, isn’t that all you want - for people to be good? Perhaps instead of judging, complaining about, or putting down these young people, we should be working to lift them up. Supporting them to be better - better for themselves, but also for all of us. I mean, there will come a time when these folks will be the ones taking care of the rest of us.

What we’ve been doing so far, worked for a time, but change has to come. It simply must. If we continue on the very same path we started almost eighty years ago, we will not likely make it. The earth is changing, the economy is changing, and the roles are changing. We must evolve. I’m sure each change, as the one before it, is scary and upsetting to some. Parents in the sixties were terrified of what their children were becoming, but look what wonder and magic they brought (i.e. music, Woodstock, the counter cultural movement that rejected mainstream life). Unfortunately, once the hippies grew into adults having to function in the world, they made things worse (in my opinion) but I digress.

I guess I’m just sick of people knocking other people down. Whether it’s because one is more successful than the other, or a group is more fortunate than another, or because one wants the power another has - why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we all just support one another? Could you imagine what we could do as a community if we all just worked together and combined our strengths and efforts? It’s quite possible our choices would be limitless. But hey, what do I know? I’m just the manager of a small restaurant in the middle of Canada. All I know is, I’ve lost ten team members in the last two to three months, and I could be mad as all hell, throw my arms up and state that the younger generation is the one making this hard, or, I could take a step back and learn from them. Why are they leaving? Is it something I’m doing? Is it something about the industry? Is there something they need that I can provide? Perhaps if I listen, I might just learn something and be able to evolve and move forward, staying relevant, rather than sit and stew in anger and resentment, and fall out of use. But again, I digress, who am I?

Ⓒ July 2023. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.