Hilarious Tug-of-War

I recently read an article on SciTechDaily - I know, a very unlikely story, but true. The truth is, the title piqued my interest and while it took me way too long to read it in order to make some sense of it, it was truly fascinating. I want to be able to share it with others and so, CLICK HERE to read it. Or if you’d like, or prefer, continue reading to get my interpretation/understanding of it.

The Title: ”Unborn Babies Use Genes From Dad to “Remote Control” Mothers for Extra Food”

I mean, how could I not read it? There’s just so much there to unpack, to want to understand, and to laugh at. I mean, come on! Of course it’s the male DNA that wants to have control  - of the mom’s body, of how many snacks it gets, etc. Isn’t that hilarious? And doesn’t it just play into the archaic and stereotypical ideas of the male and female gender roles? Not to mention the battles between moms and dads.

What battle, you may ask. Well, it’s a timeless one: Mom vs. Dad. Who’s the better cook? Who’s easier to talk to? Who’s more strict? Heck, it can even involve such debates about whose Netflix queue is better, or who listens to cooler music (though I don’t think ‘cool’ is a term used much anymore). But apparently, this epic showdown begins before the baby is even born, with a genetic face-off happening right inside the womb. According to the article, unborn babies use genes from their dad to basically hack into their mom’s body and demand extra snacks. Let’s unpack this a little more, shall we?

Dad vs. Mom

Turns out, your dad’s DNA is the go-getter in the relationship. It’s like the bossy HR rep in the office of embryonic development, writing “URGENT!” on every memo. Its main goal? To make the baby as big and healthy as possible. Forget modesty - paternal genes roll up to the placenta shouting, “We need MORE blood flow! More nutrients! And hey, can we get an extra protein share in here, stat?”

This makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Dad’s genes are focused on producing the best, chunkiest offspring to ensure survival. If Dad’s DNA had its way, every baby would come out with Michelin baby thighs that could crush it in a sumo wrestling ring.

And, going back to those stereotypical male gender role expectations - aren’t men supposed to be all about survival. Aren’t they the hunters who face the dangers to protect the tribe/family? Well, being the fittest, the strongest, and not worrying about the consequences is vital to that, isn’t it? So, what about Mom?

Well, Mom’s DNA is playing defense, trying to keep things balanced. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” it says. “We’ve got to think about the rest of the body here.!” Maternal genes are the project managers, carefully allocating resources so that Mom doesn’t keel over from exhaustion whilst the baby thrives.

It’s like a parent saying, “We can have dessert, but only after we finish our broccoli.” Mom’s DNA works hard to make sure the baby is well-fed but also keeps something in reserve for Mom’s survival because, hey, somebody’s got to carry this operation to full-term.

And ain’t that the truth - especially in regards to the stereotypical female gender role expectations, right? We women/moms are the gatherers and nurturers. We have to think of the whole picture, including the consequences of each choice, decision, or action, or the whole tribe/family could die. Firing on all cylinders, our brains running a mile a minute, trying to stay ten or more steps ahead.

But the placenta, oh the supernatural placenta - that’s where the magic happens - or the genetic bickering. Think of it as the Switzerland of the womb: neutral territory but with a sneaky agenda. While it’s supposed to provide the baby with everything it needs, it is heavily influenced by Dad’s genes, which essentially turn it into a 24/7 drive-thru for nutrients.

Mom’s DNA, on the other hand, stands at the entrance with a clipboard, saying things like, “You’ve already had three cheeseburgers today. How about some celery?” Dad’s DNA? Not impressed. “We need more cheeseburgers. Celery’s not going to win this evolutionary arms race.”

So, the ultimate question - who’s really pulling the strings here, Mom or Dad? The truth is, it’s a team effort. Mom provides the shelter, nourishment, and good sense to keep the operation running smoothly. Dad brings the ambition, growth hormones, and let’s face it, the audacity to ask for more snacks mid-trimester.

If you’re keeping score, this makes Dad’s DNA the overly confident sports coach, always pushing for the gold medal, while Mom’s DNA is the exhausted team manager, trying to make sure no one passes out from dehydration. It’s a delicate balance, and when it works, it’s downright miraculous.

So, next time you hear parents bickering over who the baby takes after more, remind them that the real drama happened before it was even born. Dad’s genes were out there acting like a toddler demanding extra cookies, while Mom’s genes were saying, “Okay, but we need to save room for dinner.”

It’s a miracle babies make it at all with this level of passive-aggressive genetic warfare going on. But maybe that’s what makes us human - our first arguments happen before we even know how to talk.

For now, let’s just be grateful that both Mom and Dad’s DNA showed up for the job. Because without this hilarious tug-of-war, none of us would be here to laugh about it.

Ⓒ January 2025. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.