I’m Alive… and a rant on happiness research

#15 Happiness comes when you feel truly alive.

Humans are not robots. Not really. But still, the first question, or point I wish to make, is when does one feel truly alive? Well, feeling truly alive is often associated with moments of intense presence, emotion, and engagement with life. I think the extreme side of it is considered, or called, an adrenaline junkie. These moments can vary greatly from person to person, but common experiences that evoke this feeling are things like being in awe of natural beauty, whether it’s a sunrise or sunset, a mountain vista, or a walk in the forest. These types of things can make one feel deeply connected and alive. Accomplishing a significant goal or overcoming a challenging obstacle can evoke a strong sense of achievement and fulfillment. And of course, engaging in activities that elevate the heart rate, such as exercise, dancing, or sports, often results in heightened awareness and energy. For me personally, creating art, music, writing, or engaging in any form of self-expression can bring a profound sense of purpose and aliveness. Also, deep Connections - moments of genuine connection with others, whether through love, friendship, or even just a meaningful conversation, can make one feel truly seen and alive. Traveling is another great one, learning something new, or stepping out of one’s comfort zone can spark a sense of wonder and exhilaration. Like we’re being changed somehow, and it’s exciting to be present and witness our own growth. Of course, practices that promote being fully present in the moment can lead to a heightened sense of existence and clarity as well. And last, but certainly not least, acts of kindness - helping others and making a positive impact can create a deep sense of fulfillment and connection to humanity. Of course, I blogged about that recently in Feeling Useful. Ultimately, feeling truly alive is often about being fully engaged in the present moment, embracing both the highs and lows of human experience with openness and intensity.

There are those running themes again - mindfulness, presence, connection, kindness. It’s almost as though this list, and then perchance the book (and movie), Hector and the Search for Happiness, are trying to tell us something. Of course, it doesn’t stray too far from what monks and other enlightened folk have been saying for eons. Stay in the present moment, be mindful of every action, every word. But why? What about being “truly alive” brings on happiness?

Well, as said, it often involves a profound connection to the present moment, an alignment with one’s values, and an engagement with life’s experiences. Being fully present allows individuals to appreciate the richness of life without being distracted by past regrets or future anxieties. This heightened state of awareness brings about a sense of peace and contentment. And some activities require us to be in a “flow” (have you ever seen the movie Soul?). When we’re in a “flow”, we are deeply immersed and absorbed in what we are doing. The reward for doing such is the feeling of fulfillment and joy. 

Of course, moments that make us feel truly alive often involve connecting deeply with ourselves or others. Personally, I find if I’m lucky to experience one of the types of moments listed above, it is exponentially better and more effective when it’s shared with another person. And the crazy thing is it doesn’t have to be with someone I love, or even know. Whether it’s a deep connection with myself by achieving something, or expressing myself creatively, or making a connection with someone I love, through intimacy or conversation, or sharing an experience with a stranger (I Choose Love, June 2019), these connections foster a sense of belonging and significance. And feeling like I belong and/or have value makes me feel happy.

Achieving goals of overcoming challenges can boost self-esteem and provide a sense of competence. This is, of course, gratifying and reinforces a positive self-image. Experiencing new things can feel even more profound as it stimulates our curiosity and sense of wonder, making life feel more exciting and worthwhile. This novelty breaks through monotony of routine and our conventional days, sparking happiness and satisfaction.

Activities that make us feel more alive bring on happiness as it forces every part of our body and mind to remember our vitality. The right chemicals and hormones are often triggered and firing off at high intensity. And of course, we’re reminded of how amazing our human bodies actually can be. This helps us to feel alive and connected to ourselves, creating a healthy link between our body and mind, contributing significantly to our overall happiness.

In essence, feeling ‘truly alive’ connects us to the essence of our human experience, blending joy, purpose, and connection in a way that naturally fosters happiness. That is why we are so often reading and hearing about how we humans are social creatures. We are not meant to walk the earth alone, isolated. 

This is likely the type of research and discoveries the advertising and marketing industries discovered and were able to alter their strategies to become so successful in the 1970’s and 1980s. They literally analyzed human behavior to better understand how to sell things to individual people. Advertisers used emotional appeals to create associations between their products and feelings of happiness, joy, and satisfaction. Companies aimed to influence consumer behavior and encourage purchases. Brands promoted lifestyles, rather than just their product. Advertisements would depict happy people using their product, suggesting that purchasing the item would lead to a similar sense of well-being. Companies emphasized the immediate pleasure and satisfaction that their products would provide, and encouraged consumers to view their purchases as an extension of their identity and individuality. By convincing people that they needed certain products to be happy, companies expanded markets and increased demand for their goods. By tapping into the fundamental human pursuit of happiness, advertisers effectively drove consumerism and increased profits. This strategy continues to evolve with advances in technology and psychology, becoming ever more sophisticated in targeting and engaging consumers. Now, I don’t know about you, but when I learned all that, and truly began to understand what it all meant, it made me feel sick to my stomach. Still, to this day, I’m uncertain if I’m buying something because I truly need it, or actually believe myself, in that it will genuinely make me happy. We’ve literally been brain-washed and/or manipulated for years to be separated from our hard earned money to line others’ pockets. But, that’s not what this post is about.

But, imagine where we’d be if we’d allowed the research to influence our actual lives, instead of our profits. If our society had prioritized incorporating research on happiness into the education system and cultural values instead of primarily using it for marketing and profit-driven purposes, I’d like to believe several outcomes might have emerged.

Schools would certainly place greater emphasis on teaching students about emotional intelligence, resilience, and well-being alongside academic subjects. Students would learn practical skills for managing stress, cultivating positive relationships, and enhancing their overall happiness.

The education system would adopt a more holistic approach, valuing not only academic achievement but also personal growth and fulfillment. Schools would prioritize the development of students’ social, emotional, and physical well-being in addition to cognitive skills. Career guidance and vocational education would focus on helping individuals identify and pursue paths that align with their values, strengths, and interests. Emphasis would be placed on finding fulfillment and purpose is one’s work rather than solely on financial success or ‘security’.

Cultural values would prioritize community, connection, and social support. People would place greater importance on building strong relationships, contributing to the well-being of others, and fostering a sense of belonging within their communities. Perhaps we’d have kept the ideal of “it takes a village”, if we ever really had it in the first place. And if we’d begun nurturing this value system early enough, perhaps social media and the internet wouldn’t be as negatively impactful as it has been. Perhaps it would really have been seen and utilized as the tool some say it is meant for.

There would be a cultural shift towards prioritizing work-life balance and personal fulfillment over relentless pursuit of material wealth and status. Companies would adopt policies that support employee well-being, such as flexible work hours, paid time off for self-care, and promoting a supportive work environment. Such focus on happiness and well-being would lead to greater consideration for environmental sustainability and responsible consumption. People would prioritize experiences and relationships over material possessions, leading to less consumption-driven lifestyles and reduced environmental impact.

By prioritizing emotional well-being and resilience from a young age, there could be a reduction in mental health issues such as anxiety, depressions, and burnout. Individuals would have the tools and support systems to cope with life’s challenges more effectively. And if, like me, you believe a large portion of cancers and other illnesses are caused by such things as stress and anxiety, those numbers would be decreasing, rather than increasing as quickly as they are. 

A society that values happiness and well-being would likely experience greater social cohesion and solidarity. People would be more empathetic, compassionate, and supportive of one another, leading to stronger communities, and a more inclusive society. It’s possible such things that some consider “stains” on society could be abolished, if not at least lessened - homelessness, substance abuse, sexual abuse, etc. 

Just imagine, how integrating research on happiness into education and cultural values could lead to a society that prioritizes the well-being and fulfillment of its members, fostering healthier individuals, communities, and environments. Wouldn’t it be grand. But, I guess I’ve run away with this topic - though it’s been coming. I’ve had to work hard to limit my rants during this whole exercise. To be honest, this list is wonderful but also disheartening. It makes it appear as though obtaining, acquiring, reaching, happiness is just right there, within reach, but we humans, as communities, societies, organizations, etc., are just too selfish, self-absorbed, and perhaps even stupid to grasp it.

As much as this search for happiness has been, and will likely continue to be, enlightening, it’s been frustrating. So, I’m going to leave it now, for today. I’m going to go and create. I’m going to continue writing my novel, and drawing the wonderful parts of it I imagine in my mind. Because that makes me happy.

Until next week, dear reader, where we will discuss/dissect #16. There are only eight items left after this one. I’m not sure if that makes me happy or not.

Ⓒ May 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.