#20 Happiness is a certain way of seeing things.
We’re getting close to the end of the list, my friends. This has been a very interesting exercise and I really hope you’ve been enjoying it thus far, at least as much as I have in doing the research and writing about it.
For this list item, I couldn’t agree more. For quite some time I was a very angry and hurt individual - you’re likely familiar with this thread as I’ve mentioned it a number of times throughout this blog. Anyway, for years, people would tell me it was essentially the way I was looking at the world that was making me feel that way, and I didn’t understand. I thought it was simply the way I was experiencing the world. But, there’s a vast difference, and I really want to get into that here.
In the complexities of human emotions, happiness is a golden thread, weaving moments of joy, contentment, and fulfillment into the fabric of our lives. Happiness, often perceived as an elusive state, is not merely a fleeting emotion but a profound way of seeing the world. This perspective shapes our experiences, relationships, and ultimately, our entire way of being. The notion that happiness is a certain way of seeing things, as this list item suggests, is both empowering and transformative. It suggests that we hold the power to our own happiness, the key to our own joy, regardless of external circumstances. Now, doesn’t that just sound crazy?
Imagine waking up to a world where every challenge is an opportunity, every setback a lesson, and every interaction a chance to connect deeply. This is the essence of seeing life through a lens of happiness. It is a deliberate choice to focus on the positive, to find beauty in the mundane, and to embrace each moment with gratitude. This shift in perspective can transform even the most ordinary of days into the extraordinary ones.
I hope I’m explaining this well, for I struggled for years in finding the positive in things that weren’t obviously positive. For example, an unpleasant exchange with a stranger… I used to think there was absolutely nothing one could take away as positive from such an experience, but that’s changed. Now, I am grateful they gave me a chance to practice patience and/or understanding. I am grateful they gave me a chance to see how I don’t want to be seen or understood in the world. I am grateful they provided me with an opportunity to feel, then unpack my feelings about the interaction, and delve deep into learning why it bothered me so much - an opportunity to learn more about myself. I am also grateful that I am seemingly better off than they are though I wish better times and happiness for them moving forward. And, I am grateful I have a partner and/or friends to share the story and unload my frustration with.
Consider a rainy day. To some, it might seem dreary, a disruptions to their plans. But at the risk of sounding corny, to those who see the world through a lens of happiness, the rain is a symphony, each rain drop a note in nature’s melody. In more practical terms however, it’s a chance to relish the coziness of home. Take the day to read a good book, or watch that movie you’ve not had time for. Better yet, take the time to play indoors with your friends/family/partner/roommate - play some cards or a board game. Essentially, find a way to enjoy the day even though it often sucks to be stuck indoors. This is not about denying the inconvenience of rain, but choosing to see its beauty and benefits.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that at the core of this perspective is gratitude. Gratitude is the heartbeat of happiness, a steady pulse that reminds us of the abundance in our lives. When we cultivate gratitude, we train our minds to focus on what we have rather than what we lack. It shifts our attention from scarcity to abundance, from longing to appreciation.
Gratitude turns the simplest moments into treasures. A warm cup of tea or coffee on a chilly morning, a smile from a stranger, the comfort of a loved one’s embrace - these are moments that fill our hearts with joy when we take the time to notice and appreciate them. By keeping a gratitude journal or simply pausing throughout the day to acknowledge the good, we reinforce a positive outlook and create a reservoir of happiness that we can draw from, even in difficult times. There are a ton of apps one can use to track and journal to help retrain ones brain to that of gratitude and positivity. I’ll include some of my suggestions below at the end of the post.
Seeing the world through a lens of happiness also means embracing imperfection. Life is inherently unpredictable and imperfect, and it is in this unpredictability that we find the richness of our experiences. We think we’re happy when things go as planned, and I know that in some cases, that’s true. However, if everything were always easy and predictable, we’d quickly grow bored and dissatisfied. So, when we let go of the need for perfection, when we open ourselves up to the beauty of the imperfect moments and allow for life to unfold as it will, not as we will it, we allow room for a plethora of emotions, including joy and happiness.
Think of a child’s drawing - lines uneven, coloring outside the lines, yet bursting with creativity and joy. In its imperfection lies its charm. Similarly, our lives, with all their messiness and unpredictability, are beautiful in their own unique ways. By accepting and embracing imperfection, we allow ourselves to experience life more fully, with all its ups and downs, and find happiness in the journey rather than the destination.
Happiness is deeply intertwined with our connection to others. Seeing the world through a lens of happiness means recognizing and nurturing the bonds we share with those around us. Acts of kindness, expressions of love, and moments of genuine connection enrich our lives and amplify our happiness.
Compassion, both for ourselves and others, is a cornerstone of this perspective. When we approach ourselves with kindness and understanding, we create an inner environment that fosters happiness. Similarly, extending compassion to others not only strengthens our relationships but also fills our hearts with a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Ultimately, seeing the world through a lens of happiness is an inward journey. It requires self-awareness, mindfulness, and a commitment to personal growth - none of which are easy. It is about tuning into our inner world in order to understand our thoughts and emotions, and consciously choose to nurture positivity. Too many, including my younger self, turn inwards only to feel sorry for ourselves, or find outside blame for what has happened and/or how we feel.
Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help us cultivate awareness. By recognizing that we have emotions but we are not our emotions, we can (hopefully) objectively dissect any situation and learn from it. We can observe our thoughts without judgment and gently steer them towards positivity, but also accept the harder, more challenging emotions (I hate calling them negative) and process them, working to learn why we’re having them. This practice helps us break free from negative thoughts patterns and develop a more resilient and joyful mindset.
To wrap things up, happiness, as a way of seeing things, is a profound and transformative perspective. It is about choosing to focus on the positive, cultivate gratitude, embracing imperfections, and nurturing our connection with others. This shift in perspective empowers us to find joy and fulfillment in the everyday moments of life.
By seeing the world through ‘rose colored glasses’, we not only enrich our own lives with meaning, purpose, and beauty, but also inspire those around us to embrace the joy and fulfillment that comes from this transformative perspective. It is a journey that begins within and radiates outwards, so imagine if we all did it? Would the world indeed become a better and happier place? And how great would that be?
Apps for help on perspective shifting:
Gratitude Journal, Affirmation (by Hapjoy Technology) - This app includes a daily journal (with reminders) with prompts to help you write something meaningful towards gratitude and happiness. It also includes access to affirmations, sorted by category, and a daily zen quote. There are also plenty of resources to help you dig deeper into your journey, such as gratitude stories, tips on practicing, and test and quizzes to help you learn more about yourself. There is also a space for you to create a vision board so you don’t lose sight of your goals along your journey.
How We Feel (by The How We Feel Project, Inc.) - This app allows for a quick check-in and monitoring of your emotions and feelings which can lead to a better understanding of self and recognizing the struggles and wins in your life. When you “check-in” you’re given four categories to choose from in what your energy level is, and passed that, there are a plethora of adjectives to choose from and from there, you enter a short description explaining why you feel that way. There is also an option to include what you were doing and with whom when you felt that way. The app also includes tools to help with a variety of things such as breathing techniques, movement, affirmations, and short video tutorials. And with all this, there is an analytical tool that breaks down all the data you entered, neatly placing it in categories to better understand yourself.
Gratitude Jar (by Karen Chan) - This is a much simpler app in that it asks you “What are you grateful today” and allows you to make an entry, though it can be done more than once a day. Each entry is then stored in a ‘jar’ which you can go back to and explore to read past memories/entries. It keeps track of your streak, encouraging you to keep journaling each day, in hopes to turn it into a daily habit.
Please note: the above are simply suggestions and are based on research. I do not have a relationship with any of the above mentioned applications and will not receive anything from them should you choose to try them out. I did not mention anything regarding their prices or commitment expectations as I am unaware of them. I just wanted to provide a few examples of simple and at-your-fingertips ways to try and shift your perspective should you wish to do so. Thank you.
Ⓒ July 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
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