Nightmares of You

Like most people, I have nightmares from time to time. When I was a small child, they were simply fears and anxieties being worked out in my subconscious.

Unfortunately, I was raped when I was thirteen years old. Soon after, specific nightmares haunted me surrounding the traumatic experience, showcasing my rapist in many different roles and forms. Over time, those specific nightmares lessened and lessened, but they still make appearances now and then, and they're still just as traumatizing and upsetting as they were over twenty years ago.

I've worked through the trauma and experience, having gone through years of therapy, self-exploration in learning self-value and self-worth, so thankfully, the aftermath of the nightmares aren't as upsetting and long lasting as they used to be. However, they still leave a sour taste in my mouth at times that lingers throughout the day, sometimes days. So last weekend, I did what I know helps me, I wrote a song about it. Here are the lyrics to my latest song, "Nightmares of You".

People know what you did

But no one seems to care

I've told my story a thousand times

But it's still too much to bare

Take my shame

Cuz' I don't want it anymore, and it's the least you can do

Take my shame

Please lighten my load, the load that came from you

Cuz' I don't know, where to go from here

Yeah I don't know, everyday is so unclear

One day I'm good, the next I'm bad

Depending on the sleep I've had

and the nightmares of you

People say it's so unfair

they don't know who to believe

They want to believe in all that's good

and of the bad they take their leave

Take my pain

Cuz' I don't want it anymore, and it's the least you can do

Take my pain

Make it go away, just make it all untrue

Cuz' I don't know, where to go from here

Yeah I don't know, everyday is so unclear

One minute I'm good, the next I'm bad

Depending on the sleep I've had

and the nightmares of you

Take my pain

Take my shame

And take these nightmares, nightmares of you

The cross I bare

it's so unfair

and it's all because of you

Cuz' I don't know, where to go from here

Yeah I don't know, everyday is so unclear

One minute I'm good, the next I'm bad

Depending on the sleep I've had

and the nightmares of you

Take my shame

Take my pain

You've earned the blame

for all the nightmares of you

the nightmares of you

If you'd like to have a listen to the song, please visit my SoundCloud HERE.

Ⓒ May 2021. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.