#23 Happiness means making sure that those around you are happy
And so begins my final blog post about the search for happiness. What an interesting experiment this has been. I’ve gotten some feedback stating this was a great exercise, and criticism that this was a waste of time (yes, it counts if they both came from me). But in all honesty, it has been both interesting, and frustrating. Enlightening, and confusing.
Happiness is like an elusive, slippery, downright mischievous concept that everyone is chasing. It’s like trying to catch a greased pig at a country fair, or getting your cat to cooperate during a bath. And just when you think you’ve caught it, it wriggles free and leaves you standing there, drenched in soap and disappointment. But I think I’ve learned through this exercise that happiness is not something you can catch. It’s something you cultivate, and the secret ingredient just might be other people’s happiness.
Picture this: a lone shero, sword in hand, embarking on a journey to find the mythical treasure called happiness. Along the way, they fight dragons, solve riddles, and brave perilous landscapes. And at the end of their journey, they find a treasure chest filled with… laughter from a friend, the warmth of a family dinner, or the gratitude of a neighbor. Turns out, happiness isn’t the solitary, shiny object we’ve been led to believe.
Remember playing with dominoes as a kid? You set them up in an elaborate pattern, give one a nudge, and watch as they topple over, one by one. Happiness works the same way. When you bring joy to someone else, it sets off a chain reaction. A smile here, a kind word there, and suddenly, the whole room is filled with inexplicable lightness. You see, your happiness is often a reflection of the happiness you spread around.
So, let me get philosophical for a moment. Imagine if your happiness was directly tied to your neighbor’s smile. It’s like a cosmic pact: “I’ll be happy if you’re happy.” And before you dismiss this as some kind of new-age nonsense, think about it. Have you ever noticed how good it feels to make someone else happy? It’s like happiness has a boomerang effect. You throw it out there, and it comes right back to you.
Let’s put this theory to the test. Next time you’re in a coffee shop, pay for the person behind you. Watch their face light up with surprise and gratitude. That warm, fuzzy feeling you get? That’s happiness bouncing back to you. It’s not about grand gestures or extravagant gifts. Sometimes, it’s the small acts of kindness that create the biggest waves of joy.
If we break it down mathematically (which in all honesty, is not my strong suit, so I hope this makes sense), it might look something like this:
Happiness = (your happiness) x (happiness of those around you)
Notice how your happiness is multiplied by the happiness of others. If those around you are miserable, your happiness quotient takes a nosedive. But if you’re surrounded by happy, joyful people, your happiness soars. It’s like living in a perpetual state of summer, with sunshine and ice cream trucks around every corner.
Of course, there has to be a catch - some sort of trick to it all. So, here’s the kicker: focusing on others’ happiness is actually a selfish act. Yep, you read that right. By making others happy, you’re ensuring your own happiness, not to mention the ego boost it provides. Doing a good deed makes you feel like a better person. It enhances your self-esteem and when you see the positive impact of your actions on others, it reinforces your belief in your own value and worth. But hey, that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. It’s the ultimate win-win. So, go ahead, be selfishly selfless. Help your coworker with that project, compliment a stranger, call your mom just to say hi. Watch as your happiness meter starts to climb.
In the grand scheme of things, the search for happiness isn’t a solo expedition. It’s a communal effort, a symphony of shared joys and mutual smiles. So, next time you find yourself chasing happiness like it’s the last cookie in the jar, remember: sometimes, the key to your happiness lies in the happiness of those around you. And if that doesn’t work, well, there’s always the cookie.
In the end, the pursuit of happiness isn’t about reaching a destination. It’s about enjoying the journey, spreading joy, and reveling in the beautiful mess of human connection. So go out there, make someone smile, and let the happiness flow. Because when your neighbor’s happy, the whole world looks a little brighter. Be selfishly selfless. Focus on others’ happiness, and you’ll find your own happiness flourishing in the process. After all, the best way to light up your own world is to spread a little sunshine in someone else’s.
As I sit down to write this final blog post, I’m struck by the depth and breadth of the journey we’ve been on together over the last 22 posts. What began as a quest to analyze the search for happiness has evolved into a profound exploration of life itself. We’ve navigated through the highs and lows, uncovering truths and facing challenges that have shaped our understanding of what it means to be truly happy. Right now, I’d like to reflect on key lessons I’ve learned…
One of the earliest and most enduring lessons of our journey is the acceptance of imperfection. Happiness is not a state of flawless bliss; it’s an ongoing process that involves embracing our flaws and the imperfections of life. We learned that perfection is an illusion and that true contentment comes from acknowledging and loving ourselves with our imperfections.
The practice of gratitude has emerged as a powerful tool for cultivating happiness. By focusing on what we have rather than what we lack, we’ve discovered a profound shift in perspective. Gratitude turns ordinary moments into extraordinary ones, helping us appreciate the beauty in the mundane and the richness in the simple.
Our exploration has underscored the importance of human connection and community. Happiness is often found in our relationships with others - family, friends, and even strangers. Building and nurturing these connections has brought immense joy and support, reminding us that we are not alone in our struggles and triumphs.
Mindfulness, the practice of being present in the moment, has been a recurring theme in my posts. By slowing down and paying attention to the here and now, we’ve learned to savor life’s moments and reduce the anxiety that comes from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness has taught us to find peace and happiness in the present.
Happiness is not about avoiding pain but about bouncing back from it. We’ve learned to see adversity as an opportunity for growth and transformation, making us stronger and more adaptable.
We’ve also explored the importance of finding meaning and purpose in life. Happiness is often intertwined with a sense of purpose - whether it’s through work, our passions, or our contributions to the world. We’ve discovered that living a life aligned with our values and goals brings a deep and lasting sense of fulfillment.
Perhaps one of the most profound lessons is the practice of self-compassion. Being kind and gentle with ourselves, especially during times of struggle, has been transformative. Self-compassion has taught us to treat ourselves with the same understanding and care that we offer to others, fostering a more compassionate and loving relationship with ourselves.
As we conclude this series, it’s important to recognize that the search for happiness is ongoing. There is no final destination, no ultimate point of arrival. Instead, happiness is a continuous exploration, a series of moments strung together by the lessons we’ve learned and the growth we’ve experienced.
Thank you for joining me on this incredible journey. I hope that these posts have provided insight, inspiration, and comfort as you’ve navigated your own path to happiness. Remember, happiness is not a destination but a way of life. Keep exploring, keep growing, and most importantly, keep finding joy in the journey.
With gratitude and joy,
beki
Ⓒ August 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
Commentaires