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Beki Lantos

Power & Money

On our continued journey to examine happiness…



#4. “Many people think happiness comes from having more power or more money.”


I’m not going to lie. I was very tempted to simply write “They’re wrong!” and that’s it, but I guess that would be unfair, though perhaps a little funny. But to be frank, that is exactly how I feel about it.


Haven’t we seen, heard, or read hundreds of stories where the rich person discovers that money can’t buy them happiness? Look at “It’s A Wonderful Life” and “A Christmas Carol” for starters. How about “Brewster’s Millions”?


Ok, so money can’t buy happiness, but wouldn’t being rich, or wealthy, allow for more freedom to be happy? I mean, doesn’t it remove the stress of trying to ensure one can afford their mortgage/rent, to eat, to purchase other necessities of life? Having wealth also allows for better health as one can afford healthier food, partaking in activities that boost one's health, and afford better healthcare. It’s been proven that living paycheck to paycheck is terrible for one's health. And I imagine feeling under constant stress + having poor health would lead to a lot of difficulty in finding happiness, or being happy. 


When I look up “can money buy happiness”, the oh-so-wise internet states that more money is linked to increased happiness. However, those who earn their wealth through work and effort get more of a happiness boost from their money than those who inherit it. Isn’t that interesting?


So, what do we do when we feel our own society was designed to create robots, or zombies, that will work for the big fish, keeping us as the small fish - realizing the middle class has continued to shrink and push very few into the ‘upper elite’ and most into poverty? What does one do when they feel they have no power?


Hold on, I don’t want this to turn into a rant about my personal frustrations with our culture and society here in North America. So, I digress…


This list item states that many people think happiness comes from having more power or money. I guess if I’m to dissect that statement itself, I have to bring up a couple of concerns/questions.


  1. What type of power?


Are we talking about the power we could have over another being - controlling when and what they can do? Inflicting emotions we want from them? Or, the power that comes from a role with responsibilities, like a manager, or a parent? Or are we talking about the power we have to control ourselves - our personal outlook on life, the boundaries we can put in place to protect ourselves, what emotions to feed and allow to grow inside us? And what about the power we hold to change what we don’t like about ourselves, our lives?


Is power not opportunity? I often feel the two go hand in hand. As a parent, yes, I held some power over my children when they were small. I dictated when they ate, slept, what activities they joined, etc. Etc. But I rarely saw it as ‘power’ and more as a privilege. I felt lucky that the universe (or whatever/whomever) chose me to be their mom. And I wanted to honor that by being the best mom I could be to them - helping them to grow into healthy and well-rounded individuals capable of happiness. It’s the same with being a manager. Yes, I wield power, but I see it as a privilege, an opportunity to nurture, support, courage, and empower those I’m managing. 


But doesn’t more power mean more responsibility? The parent most certainly has more responsibilities than the child(ren), as does the manager in comparison to the staff they supervise. I’d imagine that the CEO or founder of a business has a lot more to be responsible for than their average employee. So… does more responsibility bring happiness?


  1. What kind of money do we mean when we say “more money”?


I remember when I was in my thirties, I was managing a Boston Pizza. I was making my rounds when I noticed four or five staff members gathered at the hostess stand (it wasn’t busy), chatting. Of course, this is not a good thing. It doesn’t look good to a manager when staff are just idling. We’re trained to look at our place of work as a machine that needs constant fuel and movement. So, I walked over to the group with the intention of breaking up the conversation but something I heard piqued my interest. Now, keep in mind, they were all young, ranging from 17 to 20 years old. They were discussing what they would do if they won the lottery. And of course, when someone described their life after winning, it was clear they hoped to win several million dollars. They clearly wanted, as did most of them, to have enough money that they would never have to work again and be able to do whatever they want. It was what they wanted to do that varied. I was finally asked what I would do, but I changed the scenario on them. I said something to the effect of “I don’t want to win a lot of money. Too much responsibility and stress comes from it. I would much rather cultivate a life where I don’t need that much money, and I can live happily doing the things I love.” I’m not gonna lie, most of them looked at me as though I were crazy… or stupid. And perhaps they simply didn’t understand. But one girl, I could see the words being processed, her wheels turning, she nodded and she smiled at me. 

“That sounds really nice,” she said. I smiled back at her and then cleared my throat and listed tasks they should all be doing rather than chatting. 

So, does this mean the “more money” part of the statement refers to “more freedom”?


I guess I’m coming up with more questions than answers for this one, and that’s ok. I said I wanted to examine and reflect on the list, and that’s what I’m doing. And for this item, I definitely feel it’s important what one perceives as power. We’re living in a time when a trusted politician is a very rare find, and they all wield a very important type of power. Did they seek it for the purpose of truly wanting to help others and better their communities? Did they seek it to derive happiness from the opportunities it provided? Or, was it simply for the power they’d wield? I’ve heard that feeling powerful can be tempting, euphoric, and then addictive - once a person has a taste of it, they don’t want to give it up. That’s a scary thought. Especially if the idea that power brings happiness is perpetuated on top of all that. It certainly makes me question anyone who is in any position of power. I will never trust a person simply because of the title or role they play, nor the badge or accolades they carry.


And I would most certainly say that the pursuit of wealth is much more prominent today in my opinion. Perhaps I was, and continue to be, naive, but I don’t remember classmates and other young people I knew (at that age in my life) factoring the income of a job when discerning what they wanted to be when they grew up. It was about doing something you liked, of interest, or perhaps your parents desires (or insistence). But now, it seems like that is one of, if not the most, major factors in planning one's future - how much money will I make… 


I don’t think we, as a society, have ever had the answer to what makes one happy. But I often feel like we are straying further and further from the possibility of an answer than ever before. I guess that’s why this list is of such interest to me. Surely, dissecting what we believe can make us happy, can help us discover and understand the truths about the pursuit of happiness…


What do you think?


Ⓒ February 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.

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