I’ve written many blog posts now and many of those have included my gratitude and good fortune in having a wonderful family. Often, I am speaking of my hubby and children (who are now adults), but I also often mean my siblings.
There have been many times when I have felt lost, adrift in a sea of uncertainty, desperately searching for a sense of belonging. Again, I’ve found myself currently lost, as you may know if you’ve been reading my blog recently, thanks to the car accident in early August. It’s not a fun place to be as for years, I was certain I was alone in this world, that no one truly understood me, not even those closest to me. It was a time of quiet struggle - moving through life, hoping to find “my people”, my tribe, the ones who would ground me, hold me, accept me for all that I am. Hubby and I married very young and so that didn’t happen right away for us. It took years of choosing each other every day for us to get anywhere near the point where we truly understood one another and felt wholly accepted. And of course, that continues to this day.
Recently, in the quiet moments of reflection and in the big, meaningful conversations, I realized something profound: my people were there all along. My siblings - those people I often took for granted or saw through a lens clouded by misunderstanding and hurt - turned out to be the ones who anchored me. They are my tribe.
As we’ve grown, as life has molded and shaped us through both beautiful and brutal experiences, we’ve discovered the depth of our connection. With each challenge we’ve faced, each moment of vulnerability shared, we’ve become closer. No longer bound by roles or expectations, we’ve learned to see each other as human beings first - flawed, but deeply loving.
It’s in their presence that I’ve found peace. They’ve taught me that belonging isn’t about a perfect fit but about acceptance, about showing up for each other when it counts. They’ve seen me at my worst, when I felt like I had nothing to offer, and still, they stood by me. It’s in those moments of love without condition that I’ve realized how lucky I am.
I used to think I had to search far and wide to find my tribe. However, I couldn’t have been more wrong. All this time, they’ve been here, already a part of my life. We lost our way to each other, if we ever really had it, from a childhood and youth filled with basic traumas and a foundation that barely included unconditional love, honest communication, and stepping up for one another. But since we’ve found each other over the last several years, we’ve evolved together, and through that, I’ve come to understand what family truly means.
It’s more than blood. It’s connection. It’s understanding. It’s standing together when everything else falls apart. And for that, I am so deeply and eternally grateful.
The bond with siblings is something I’ve come to cherish more than I ever thought possible. There’s a unique magic in knowing that there are people in this world who’ve walked alongside you through every stage of life, witnessing your evolution, even if from a distance at times. I can’t imagine a world where I couldn’t have a relationship with my siblings, where that connection didn’t exist. The thought is almost unbearable.
What would life be without the shared memories we’ve created, those unspoken understanding that only siblings can have? The laughter over inside jokes, the comfort in silence, the ability to fight, forgive, and then be even closer for it? To lose that would be to lose a part of myself. They’ve been my mirrors, showing me who I am, even in moments where I’ve lost sight of it myself.
And, god forbid, not having siblings at all - that’s something I don’t even want to contemplate. They’ve been my best friends, my trusted companions, and in many ways, my greatest teachers. They’ve helped me understand the complexities of relationships, the balance of love and patience, and the importance of loyalty. My life would be so much quieter without them, missing that rich layer of connection that only they can provide.
I feel fortunate - beyond fortunate - to have them. There’s something so grounding in knowing that no matter where life takes us, no matter how many years pass or how much we change, we share a bond that can’t be broken. It’s this unshakable foundation that gives me strength. It’s my siblings who remind me of who I am, where I’ve come from, and what truly matters. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.
As I reflect on all the ways my family, especially my siblings, have shaped me, I feel nothing but deep gratitude. I know that over the years, wires can get crossed, relationships can become tangled in misunderstandings or emotionally charged memories. But I promise you, it’s worth untangling those knots. Reaching out, rebuilding, and nurturing those relationships with your siblings can bring a level of connection that’s irreplaceable. There’s a certain kind of magic in the bond shared by people who’ve known you for a lifetime - who’ve seen you grow, stumble, and rise again.
And if, for any reason, rekindling that connection isn’t a possibility for you, or you don’t have siblings, my heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine the pain of feeling that absence, and I want to offer my empathy and friendship. Even if that sibling relationship isn’t there, know that there are others who will stand by your side, just as your family can. You can choose your family. You are never alone. And sometimes, our truest tribe can come from the connections we make along the way - in that I shout out to my husband.
Let’s never take the people we love for granted. Hold them close, forgive freely, and cherish every moment you have with them. Life is too short to let those connections slip away.
Ⓒ October 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
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