#5 Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story
This item reads to me like “ignorance is bliss”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished I didn’t know something, or was kept in the dark about a detail of some sort. I mean, it’s like finding out your favorite celebrity is really an ass hole. Or that your partner cheated on you. Wouldn’t you have remained happy not knowing such things? Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world of pretend, where everything is as you want it to be, not as it really is?
You see, for me, the answer to that question is unequivocally, no. I don’t want to be ignorant. I don’t want to be blind. And it’s not because I care that others could know the truth and be laughing at me (or behind my back). Fuck other people and their thoughts about me. What others think of me is absolutely none of my business. I just want to know that what I have, what I feel, is real.
Would it be upsetting to find out my partner cheated on me? Absolutely! Devastating, in fact. But still, I would rather know the truth and build a future on that, then continue to live in the false belief that I have a truly devoted and loving partner I can trust.
I actually wrote a song about this very thing called “Blissful Ignorance”. Hopefully one day, I’ll record it in a decent enough way that I can post it for you to hear. In the meantime, here are the lyrics:
Sometimes the truth hurts, we feel better not knowing
We restrict our minds, pretend we’re blind and never showing
These protective barriers keep us from taking one step at a time
We think we’re simplifying when we’re just crucifying ourselves and our lives
Well it’s blissful ignorance that keeps some of us alive
In blissful ignorance we believe we can thrive
Pretend that we’ve accepted while shying away from the truth
That’s what we do
I’d rather not know, that somehow I hurt you
I’d rather not know about anything bad you’ve ever been through
Because it makes me feel bad, it can make my skin crawl
I’d rather feel I’ve never affected you negatively at all
But the truth is that we are all butterflies
As we flap our wings we create enemies and allies
But shying away from the things I see or do
Won’t make me smarter than you
Well it’s blissful ignorance that keeps some of us alive
In blissful ignorance we believe we can thrive
Pretend that we’ve accepted while shying away from the truth
In blissful ignorance I build a world of pretend
In blissful ignorance I forget all of the loose ends
Pretend everyone is fine while shying away from the truth
Cuz that’s what we do
In blissful ignorance
Ignorance, or not knowing (or denying) the whole story, is akin to building a soft cocoon to shield us from the truths of the world. It can provide a momentary respite from the burdensome weight of knowledge, possibly sparing us from the unsettling truths that surround us, but is it sustainable? Is it fair?
For example, if I’ve done something that hurt my friend, even if inadvertently… If I choose to ignore what happened… If I choose to hide in my soft cocoon and deny that anything ever happened… Perhaps that protects me from trauma, facing the harsh truth of the consequences of my actions… but how does that help my friend? If they are unable to deny what took place… If they need me to discuss it with them, perhaps at least acknowledge, if not apologize for my part, so that they can find closure and move on… how am I helping them? I’m simply not. So, not only am I hindering my own growth and peace of mind, but what about my friends?
While ignorance may offer a semblance of tranquility, too often it stands as a barrier to progress. The pursuit of truth requires a willingness to confront uncomfortable facts and challenge preconceived notions.It necessitates an open mind and a thirst for knowledge that goes beyond the boundaries of our comfort zones.
When we embrace truth, we empower ourselves - we can make informed decisions instead of knee-jerk or emotional ones. We can contribute meaningfully to our communities and the world around us. Honesty becomes the compass guiding us through the labyrinth of uncertainty, fostering trust and authenticity in our relationships. And I feel that is the only way to true happiness. Otherwise it’s all just a facade.
As tempting as the allure of ignorance, or not knowing the whole story may be, it’s crucial to recognize its limitations. True happiness is not found in the fleeting comfort of ignorance but in the enduring embrace of truth. And truth requires courage - the courage to acknowledge uncomfortable truths, confront our biases, and evolve into better versions of ourselves.
While ignorance may offer a temporary respite from the harsh realities of life, it cannot replace the deep satisfaction derived from living a life in honesty and truth. The pursuit of truth, I believe, though challenging, is the essence of human growth and progress. So fine, let us seek the bliss of ignorance from time to time, but strive for the enduring fulfillment that comes with a life lived authentically and in honesty.
Ⓒ February 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
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