Time to Celebrate!

#16 Happiness is knowing how to celebrate

So, my last blog post on the search for happiness got a little off topic with my rant toward the end. I hope it was enjoyable. I honestly felt that perhaps this topic was finished, even though there are still nine items left on the list. So maybe the topic wasn’t finished, but I was finished with it. However, my brain, for whatever reason, will NOT let me simply toss the project aside and move on to something else without finishing. I refuse to give up!!! Strange? Yes, but I’ve always chosen the more challenging or trying path. Just ask my mom. So, imma keep writing about the search for happiness. 

Onward!

When I first read this list item, my mind immediately went to parties. I’m not naive as to what some believe partying means. For most of my teenage years, partying was my main focus. It was all about parties, drinking, and having fun, making friends, etc. And yet, I have no recollection of ever attending, or hosting, a party where I was actually happy. Most often, they would turn into serious drama-fests. So, not only were they not that fun at the time, but they certainly didn’t contribute to my long term happiness. If by chance I did feel happy, it was fleeting. Temporary. So, I need to use my brain for what it’s best at - thinking outside the box (even if that box is one of my own making).

‘To party’ doesn’t necessarily mean gathering and using substances to let loose and get crazy. I’ve actually met people who had or attended parties that were themed! With games! Or just a reason to get together and enjoy people’s company! But, I was raised in a home where the adults almost always got drunk in order to have fun or let loose (except for my mom - poor thing could never hold her liquor). In fact, every Sunday after church, it was a ritual, or habit. We’d all go to my aunt and uncle's house, the kids would play in one area, while the parents got drunk in another. The idea of being sober and having fun as an adult had never dawned on me until much later in life. Only recently, have I come to understand and recognize the true purpose of gatherings and celebrations. Side note, I’ve always understood kid’s parties and tried my best to throw great ones for my kids as they grew up in my house, as my mom did. They were ALWAYS sober. Ok, back to what I was saying. So, what, in fact, does it mean to “know how to celebrate”? And how does it contribute to our happiness?

In a world constantly driven by goals and achievements, it’s easy to overlook the simple yet profound act of celebration. Celebrating is not just about parties or special occasions; it’s a mindset that acknowledges and savors the moments of joy in our lives. It is an expression of gratitude and recognition, such as birthdays, weddings, baby showers, or celebrating one’s promotion. It’s about acknowledging the milestones, big or small, that we encounter on our journey in this thing called life. It’s a way of saying, “this matters.” It’s funny, on some level, I’ve always known this as I’ve had to shove it down my husband’s throat for twenty years now. Allow me to expand on that.

My husband hates his birthday. Like, literally HATES it. He becomes a moody, grumpy, mean, terribly unkind, selfish child on his birthday. Every. Year. He’s always claimed it is because he doesn’t like to be the center of attention. He doesn’t like to be ‘made a big deal of’. But the funny thing is, as I’ve been trying to explain to him, is that his birthday has nothing to do with him. I want to celebrate him. I want to gather with friends and/or family and celebrate the fact that we are blessed to have him in our lives. To be honest, he wouldn’t even really have to be there, but that would just be weird, wouldn’t it? Anyway, we’ve been arguing back and forth on it for twenty years - is it selfish for him to deny me (and others who love him) the day to celebrate him? I think so. But he claims he’d rather be left alone and have it pass like any other day. I guess I just don’t get it. I mean, by celebrating, we inject positivity into our lives and the lives of those around us. But not for him? And yet, he’s more than happy to celebrate others’ birthdays. Which brings me to my next point.

Celebrations are often communal events. These events, these moments bring people together, strengthening bonds and fostering a sense of community, which breeds connection. And we all know connection is a huge part of being happy. Sharing our lives, relating to another person, feeling as though we belong, etc. All of this contributes to happiness AND can be experienced (most times) at a celebration.

But of course, celebrating doesn’t always mean having a party. One can celebrate alone - though I’ve not found it as fun. Or one can celebrate with one or two other people. It doesn’t always have to be a big to-do.

So, how does one cultivate a celebration mindset? (AKA, how can I change my husband's mindset? Jk).

1. Recognize Achievements - start by recognizing things to celebrate, big or small. Birthdays, weddings, promotions, those are all easy things to make into big celebrations. But recognizing that you completed a challenging project or accomplished a goal, that’s worth celebrating too.

2. Create Rituals - Develop personal or family rituals to mark special occasions. This could be a weekly family dinner to celebrate the weeks accomplishments, or a personal treat for meeting a goal.

3. Celebrate Others - Don’t limit celebrations to your own achievements. Celebrate the successes of your friends, family, and colleagues. This not only strengthens your relationships but also fosters a culture of positivity and support.

4. Practice Gratitude - Incorporate gratitude into your daily routine. At the end of each day, reflect on what went well and express gratitude for those moments. This habit shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

5. Mindful Celebrations - When you celebrate, be fully present. Put away distractions and immerse yourself in the joy of the moment. This mindfulness enhances the experience and leaves a lasting positive impact.

Happiness is not a distant destination but a state of mind nurtured by everyday celebrations. By recognizing and celebrating the moments that matter, we enrich our lives with joy, gratitude, and a sense of accomplishment. So, take a moment today to celebrate - it’s a small act with profound benefits. Whether it’s a quiet moment of reflection or a grand gathering, remember that happiness is knowing how to celebrate.

Ⓒ June 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.