#10 Happiness is doing a job you love
Is this list item referring to a job job? Like, where you get paid for work that you compete or take on? Or job as in task? Because let’s be honest, you aren’t paid for parenting, but it certainly fits under what we describe as a “job”. My research and writing for this blog is a job for me, but I’m not getting paid for it. I guess some people, especially historically speaking, have had difficulty understanding why one would put energy into work that doesn’t pay, but I think that’s for another post. For this post, let’s move forward with the understanding that the list item refers to a job necessary to make a living and afford the necessary things in life.
There is a famous saying that goes: “Find a job you love and you will never work a day in your life”, and I get it. If you’re lucky enough to find a job that you love, even though you ARE working, because you’re so grateful for being able to do it, AND you get joy and fulfillment from it, it doesn’t feel like work. In fact, to some, “Work” is considered a four letter word. But let’s be honest, we can’t survive without work.
Being able to eat, which we need to survive, takes work. Whether we work to afford groceries to make food to eat, to order food through an app to eat, make our way to an establishment to eat, it’s all a degree of work.
Relationships take work. Yes, some can be more challenging, or take more effort than others, but it’s still work. And we humans are social creatures. We need community and relationships. Perhaps we could survive in the wild alone for a time, but eventually, we would either need someone, or others, or perish.
To function as a human being, just in our basic status - living, breathing, eating - takes work. Some work is easier than other, but it still takes work to get up out of bed in the morning, to put one foot in front of the other, to breathe, to eat, etc.
Hell, even to sleep takes work. If we don’t take proper care of ourselves, our sleeping patterns and sleep quality suffers. This affects our brain function, our moods, our health, etc. In order to acquire good sleep, we must eat moderately well, be somewhat active, and refrain from activities or ingesting items that can affect it negatively. Therefore, it takes work.
To live is to work. There’s no denying it. Even if you want to prove otherwise, by not taking care of yourself (I’m specifically thinking of the wonderful Brendan Fraser’s character in the film The Whale), you’re putting in effort. His character likes to argue that he’s given up on life and can’t help himself, but what he’s actually doing takes work. (If you haven’t seen the film, I apologize if the example confuses you, but also - see the film. It’s sad as anything and even disturbing, but in such a beautiful way. Totally worth seeing, even if just for Fraser’s performance).
So, if to live is to work, doesn’t it make sense to then take on work that you love, enjoy, and find fulfillment from?
I remember growing up, my father hated his job. He would come home from work everyday, barely say hello, and almost immediately plop himself in front of the TV with a drink. If I recall correctly, we were told he needed to unwind from the day. Even on weekends, most of my memories are of him sitting in front of the television with a drink. I don’t have any memories of going to the park, going on walks, listening to music, going to the movies, or any events with him, though I’m sure we dragged him out to some. But I have little to no memory of him ever being happy, or full of life. It wasn’t that he was miserable, he was just… there. Some could argue that he was happy and what not, but I’m not here to argue. Especially as to me, his actions proved otherwise. I just know that to me, he didn’t seem happy and I related it to his hating his job. So, when my husband and I married and were expecting our second child, he was very stressed about getting a good job (or career) that would allow him to provide for our family. (Side note, there isn’t and never was a ‘provider’ for our family. It was always a joint effort in contributing to it). I very distinctly remember telling him, if not begging him, to find something that he loved. I was terrified of the possibility of him forcing the wrong job on himself for all of the right reasons leading to his unhappiness. I didn’t want him to sacrifice his happiness for the rest of us when clearly, being around someone who is not happy has serious affects and consequences on its own.
But how does one find a job one loves? I think the largest component to that is compromise. I mean, let’s be honest, all I’ve ever wanted is to be able to make a living with my art - my music, my writing, my painting, my drawings, my stories. But the artistic industries are some of the hardest to break into. And I’m just talking about making a living, not becoming some famous icon. Of course, while there are classes and courses to help you hone or strengthen your craft, there aren’t any classes to help guide you on how to become successful or create a living from it. Part of the issue was that I had a very strict idea of what I thought my success and career should look like. In hindsight, I should have pursued many different streams and not put all of my eggs in one basket (so to speak). In regards to my music, I used to just write a song and then post it on social media and perform live in hopes of getting “discovered”. But there are so many other things I could have done to help propel myself further. Such as;
learned how to record and opened my own little studio for not just my use, but to offer my services for pay to other artists as well
learned how to write jingles and worked with marketing agencies to offer services in writing commercials for advertising
gotten a voice acting agent to try and garner work in the field of radio and animation
learned how to break into the audiobook world as a voice actor
brushed up on my techniques and finalized them to offer voice/vocal training or lessons
joined other and/or cover bands throughout the years
In doing any or all of those things, I would have strengthened my knowledge and ability, likely met lots of other people in the business who I could develop a working relationship with, and more. Looking back, I know that my biggest error was not working at it smarter, and that’s on me. And who knows if it would’ve been worth it.
In short, I don’t think there ever is any one perfect job out there for a person (though I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule). Any job one has, even if it is their dream, has its downfalls. Therefore, I think it’s important that one be willing to broaden their horizons, learn as much as they can about the craft, and stretch their imagination about how to get or create opportunities to work within the field of their choice. Of course, one does have to know what they’re passionate about, or what they love, in order to find a job they love. And I think that’s a huge challenge now because there is more out there than ever before.
Part of the issue is we are asking those who are way too young to try and find their passions too soon. Yes, some might know, but a lot don’t. And we also have to let them know that it’s ok if it changes down the road. Gone are the times where we found a job and it became our career for life.
If you fall into the category of wanting to try and find your passion, all I can say is, I know it isn’t easy, and don’t ever give up. But keep trying new things. Explore your interests, and even things that may not seem interesting at the start. Try new activities and reflect on if it brought you any joy, fulfillment or energy. For those who can wake up most mornings and look forward to going into work are beyond fortunate. But we all deserve it. Just remember, it takes work. Isn’t it ironic?
Ⓒ April 2024. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
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