I’m not gonna lie. I don’t really know what to write about. That’s probably why I’m late.
Things in my life are good right now. Marriage - beyond in love and happy. Family - everyone is happy and healthy. Work - has finally calmed down as the last several hires have proven to be really good ones thus far. Passions: writing– I’ve finally mapped out the ending of my novel (Venera Profera, posts already on this site) and probably only have 3-4 parts left to write. Music - nothing really new, though a good friend of mine, he and I are meeting up with another band next week to see what we can do together. Other than that, there isn’t much else in my life.
All in all, I’d say my life is pretty full and fulfilling, but I have to admit, I’ve been thinking a lot about giving my time to a cause. As you know, I believe in leading with kindness and having compassion and empathy for others. Always. And in the past, I’ve found it rewarding to do so by volunteering. I’ve always volunteered in some capacity. For years it was with local theatre groups. Of course, as a mom, I was always heavily involved in whatever activity my kids were in. I volunteered for hockey, theatre stuff, school stuff, scouts, and girl guides. I even found my own thing in an international organization for women. Some of those stints were simply temporary due to the kid connection. But some, I’d hope to keep for life. The truth is though, I often found my volunteer work becoming too consuming. Now, wether that is the organizations or my fault, or a little of both, I‘m not too sure. Let’s break it down, shall we?
I used to volunteer for a lovely musical theatre organization, but the more involved I got, the faster I reached a burn out phase. I just found so many of the other volunteers involved were really good at coming up with ideas, or critiquing others’ ideas, but very few were willing to do the work. There were times it honestly felt like I was carrying too much of the weight. And honestly, there were times the place felt… incestuous. There were little cliques of people who always seemed to work together and I felt like I was trying so hard to fit in to this little club I was never going to be let into. I’m not blaming the organization entirely. I had my issues and played my part too. But by the end, I was so soured and exhausted, I haven’t been able to get back to theatre. Oh the drama!
I was also a girl guide leader for a decade or so. I originally joined because my daughter’s leader, and a good friend of mine, was diagnosed with cancer and asked for my help and support. I honestly didn’t think I’d like it, but I absolutely loved it. It was so fun and rewarding to plan and execute activities, events, camps, and more, for young girls. I moved up with my daughter as she grew, but at a certain age she was asking me not to follow her, and allow her to fly on her own for a bit. Of course, I obliged. And for a short while, the unit I remained with was great, and functioned well. I’m not sure what changed. The girls? The expectations? The journey? Me? But it felt like it happened overnight. Suddenly, it wasn’t fun anymore and it felt like a really time consuming and arduous chore. But I didn’t want to leave the organization. I loved it, and still love it. I think it’s wonderful to have an inexpensive after-school program that can enrich the lives of young girls while teaching them, and encouraging them, to be independent and strong. Let’s face it, especially recently, parents seem to be really struggling with imparting independence, accountability, and responsibility to their children. But I digress. I began working to get involved on the adult side. I attended adult events, getting to know other leaders, including those in a more experienced level. I attended training workshops and groups, and talked about how I wanted to build a network within the organization to support the leaders. A lot of girl guide leaders are simply moms who volunteer to be with their child - whether it be because the child needs it, the mom needs it, or it’s just a wonderful bonding opportunity. But having mostly moms can often mean they haven’t entirely bought into the system. It can also mean that as soon as their child is done - whether they complete the program or stop early on or midway, the mom typically leaves too. I wanted to help build up the side of the organization that recruits women for their own benefit, not just their child(ren)’s. I began organizing region-wide events, but found little to no support from the other adult leaders, even less from the actual organization itself. It was so frustrating and defeating. After a year or so, I finally gave up. I was so disappointed when I resigned from the organization, and I still miss it to this day. But I know I can’t go back. It’s not that it’s soured or anything, I just… I want to keep the memories I have, especially those that include my daughter, and the years where one of my co-leaders was my best friend, close and real. I don’t want them to fade or change. I’ll always look back on Girl Guides as one of the best aspects of my volunteer career and life, despite the tragic ending.
For a good number of years, I was a part of an international women’s organization. I attended national conferences within Canada, and even one international conference in Bangkok. It was amazing! I met some fantastic and amazing women, but the organization itself was struggling. I guess it’s only fair. Historically, volunteer work has always been “women’s work”. For a decent amount of time, when we lived in the age of having housewives, their volunteer work is what allowed for communities to thrive. Women typically, through volunteering, ran the communities entire social events, holidays, and groups. Whether it was for a good cause, entertainment, or to make change - I believe women were at the forefront of most of it, if not all. And I believe that it’s within those roots that the organization I volunteered for was born. And it held values and pushed forward efforts to improve the lives of women in the professional world, as well as economically, and politically. I was so proud to join it. It was a small club in my city, but was told it was supported by the provincial, national, and international clubs. So, what issues did I, or the organization, face? Well, membership was down drastically. There were fewer and fewer clubs across Canada. And each club, though there were guidelines and expectations layed out by the provincial, national, and international clubs, kind of ran its own way. While some were very strong in advocacy, others were more social. This isn’t technically a bad thing, but if your numbers are low, and those numbers can’t seem to agree on which direction to go in, it feels as though there is a great divide that cannot be filled in. Even within our little club, there were issues. Our members could talk a big game about wanting to effect change, but no one seemed to be able to find the time to make real efforts. Somehow, I was able to. But I was consistently disappointed with the lack of support and actual help in lifting ideas and projects off the ground. After several years, I finally just resigned. It was a real shame.
But I want to get back out there. I want to volunteer my time, my energy, my passion. I have so much to give. I just can’t figure out where. And how. Every time I see an opportunity, my brain does a very good job of telling me why I shouldn’t. But I suppose, if it’s meant to be, it will be. Perhaps the right opportunity simply hasn’t presented itself, or I haven’t found it, yet. Perhaps I’m just a little gun shy and need to thicken my skin so I don’t get so disappointed or frustrated this next time. I don’t know. All I know is, I have a lot to give, and I know there are people, causes, communities, and more that would benefit from my energy, passion, and dedication. But just like a personal and close relationship, I did need to play the field to source out the one most worthy before I commit. So, here I go…
Ⓒ October 2023. Beki Lantos. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form by any means without prior written permission of the author.
Comments